“How could this happen? We had gone through so much in the last year that are hearts were already full of pain and sadness. You were a blessing. How could this happen? We wanted you so bad! It didn’t matter that you were number 8. You were going to complete our family. We needed you. I need you!!
My heart has been broken for 10 days. It is now missing a part of it. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again Baby K. I don’t know how long until that happens. I pray God is giving you lots of hugs from Mommy and Papa. I would have saved you if I could have.
Now I have the ashes of the baby who should have been. I don’t know how to act. I don’t know how to respond. I want my baby back!!!!!!!!”
These words were written two and a half years ago. Everyone said it would get easier. Guess what it didn’t get easier. It doesn’t hurt less. The truth is I have learned how to live with the pain. I have learned how to smile through the ache. I have learned how to pretend like everything is ok even on the days I want to hide under the covers. I am not done grieving. My grief is forever changing. But I am living with it. ❤
Rest In Peace K! We miss you so damn much.
The big 8 